A few weeks ago, I was out on a shopping trip with my family and we were all having such a lovely time. We picked up some gorgeous new summer clothes for Aiden and enjoyed a big feast for lunch. However, these happy vibes almost unraveled when it came to shopping for some jeans for myself.
Normally, Zara is my shopping Mecca, I just love their effortless, simple and elegant style and really like their jeans too. I spotted a nice pair of ripped jeans, something that I wouldn’t usually be drawn to, but these weren’t ripped too much like some others that I had seen. Looking through the pile on the stand I managed to find my size and headed to the dressing room.
Full of excitement at the thought of treating myself (doesn’t happen very often these days), I was eager to try them on and see how they looked. Honestly, it was a struggle to get them over my thighs, but I persevered – sucked everything and prayed that the button fastens. I did a little happy dance when it did, however, I caught my reflection in the mirror. The jeans were super tight, making my thighs look bigger than they actually are, I had a muffin top and a small pouch because the waistband was digging into my belly.
Well, talk about a crisis of confidence! In the past, I would have been in denial and bought the jeans anyway, no matter how uncomfortable they felt on. Then there would be the task of trying to disguise the fact that they were too small and feeling insecure when I wore them. Things like wearing baggy tops, walking around with my belly sucked in or contorting my body in some way to hide the lumps and bumps would have been my key strategies.
Not this time, I was determined to feel comfortable in my clothes rather than a stuffed turkey. The simple solution was to go up a size, which would have freaked me out a few years ago. I tried on the next size up and instantly felt better. There was no battle to get them on and I didn’t have to hold my breath to fasten the button. Also, I instantly noticed that I could move my body more freely without feeling restrained by the fabric.
Since this crisis of confidence, I’ve come to realise that there is no shame in going up a dress size. I’m tired of trying to change my body in order to fit the clothes. Instead, I’m now in the mindset that there is nothing wrong with my body and I don’t need to morph into something I’m not just to make the jeans fit. I’m now completely oblivious to the size labels in clothes and go with how they feel on my body.
Size isn’t everything and I felt inspired after reading an article by the fabulous Jes Baker. Our bodies are not designed to stay the same over time, whether it’s changed through weight gain or aging. I’ve put on a little weight recently, hence the increase in jean size and in the process of acceptance. However, a weight gain or going up a dress size doesn’t mean that I’m less worthy of respect, can’t feel fabulous or my value as a person has diminished.
Yes, I had to go up a dress size.