Do you find that you speak a different way in certain social settings? Have you ever turned down an invite somewhere because you’re not good enough? How about changing your perfectly acceptable outfit because you thought it wasn’t good enough for that party, even though it’s your favourite? Sounds like you? It sounds like me too.
I’ve already touched on this topic with my email subscribers but wanted to discuss it in more detail on the blog too. I’ll hold my hands up and say that I’m guilty as charged for this, many times over. I’ve conformed or changed who I really am because I thought that I wasn’t good enough.
Over the past few years, my confidence has grown and I’m definitely more self-assured – not in an arrogant way, I just learned that my voice also counts. Quite frankly the feeling of no longer holding back and unleashing my authentic self has been freakin’ amazing!
Even though my blog is an honest place, where I express my personal journey and opinions, I will be the first to admit that there are times when I’ve hit the delete button because I was scared that the real way that I wanted may offend. Then I had an epiphany: if I want my blog to be wholeheartedly honest and a true reflection of myself I have to put all my cards on the table – it would be unnatural to be any other way and I hope this comes across in my blog posts.
Being authentic is really important to me and there may have been times where I have subconsciously been influenced by others when perhaps it wasn’t really for me. But, I’ve taken action and worked hard to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin for my health and wellbeing, and for my sanity!
Embracing who you really are, including the imperfections because let’s be real, perfectionism doesn’t exist, is one awesome dose of self-love. Getting to the point of feeling comfortable and giving yourself the permission to be authentically you takes work, but here are my top tips to help you on your way.
Realise that you are enough
This is probably my number one tip, once you realise that you are worthy and perfectly fine warts and all, you will feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. Don’t be scared of who you are, own it!
Do what you love
Life is too short to live in denial and being stuck doing something that you absolutely hate. Whether its work, a hobby, a certain way of life that you just don’t feel is right for you, it’s definitely time to take that leap and make time for the things that makes your heart skip a beat. Things may be hard at first as change can be a scary, but once things settle down you will be glad that you opened up the opportunity to allow yourself to be happy and live the life you really want.
Remember that your life roles do not define you
We take on many roles in our lifetime and sometimes we become consumed by them. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or homemaker, these roles do not define who you are, they’re what you do and the two do not need to be mutually exclusive. Try not to conform to certain behaviours just because you think they suit your role, just be yourself.
Take some time out for yourself
Sometimes we need to take a step back and reassess what we really want from life. Take some time out for yourself and think about what you want to achieve and set out some goals to get there. Our life goals are usually a true reflection of who we want to be, so having a think and setting some goals is a great way to unlock the real you and live fearlessly.
Fall in love with your imperfections
We’re all guilty of it, we all have something about ourselves that we would love to change because we think it would make us feel better about ourselves. Why not make peace with your body and fall in love with your imperfections? No one is perfect, sorry to break it to you but it doesn’t exist. Rather than trying to chase perfection, accept yourself unconditionally, your flaws make you beautifully unique and shouldn’t be seen as the enemy. These ‘imperfections’ only matter because you make it that way, self-acceptance is an important step in beginning to unlock the real you.
Learn to let go
Holding on to other people’s expectations of you or comparing yourself to someone else can be damaging to your wellbeing. Simply let go of these feelings and channel your energy positively in being the best version of yourself.
Have a social cleanse
Something that I’m pretty big on at the moment is having a social cleanse. Social media can be an evil monster for influencing and comparisons. Have a clean up and delete those accounts that cause you to feel bad about yourself or compare yourself to, which should free your mind and will allow you to be your authentic self.
HOW HAVE YOU HELD THE REAL YOU BACK? DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH UNLOCKING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF? HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS?